Bloom
Some say you only bloom where you are planted. I disagree. I say spread your seeds all over the earth, and see where your roots pick up.
I completely understand that some people are inevitably survivors of things uncontrolled by them, and don’t have a lot of autonomy to spread their “seeds” in the first place. Take it from a foster youth.
I believe in the saying that you should do what you can, with what you have, where you are. But I also believe in kindling your own fire. I believe in deep breaths and taking up space. Sometimes you may find yourself diving out into the deep end, exploring tangents that end up taking you nowhere—but you won’t know how crazy that journey can be for you, if you’re not up for the challenge.
Not as easy as it sounds. Trust me. The growing pains are uncomfortable and hurt in their own way. But like a snake shedding its own skin, the only option is to come out more beautiful on the other end. Here are some of the things that have helped make it easier to lean in to the shift— (of change, new paths, uncertainty, and more):
find the mold and break it: usually, when you start anything, there are a few guidelines or expectations that help you get your feet in the door of any opportunity. The problem is that most people stay within the expectations. Don’t get lost at the starting point. Figure out how you can add your own personality into the work that you do, be your own benchmark, and utilize what you’re good at. Don’t stale your imagination simply because you weren’t asked to use it. Don’t allow others to give you permission to be your best self! Show people what you’re made of no matter how different. People are always drawn to those who are themselves. Authenticity is so underrated but deeply attractive.
laugh with your whole body: this sounds weird, but learn to have fun with yourself and laugh at your mistakes and your growth. It is crazy to me that I am writing this at 19. I feel like I have lived 4 different lives— and they exponentially lead me to a better self. I look back at who I was a year ago today and it’s uncanny how much growth a person can go through! I don’t even recognize myself sometimes. Things will fall into place but along the journey you have to have the humor to fall over yourself. You are going to fall miserably, so you might as well find the humor in it!
say yes and yes and yes and yes: I can count on my hands how many times I have said no to opportunity. While it is important to say no to things so that different good things can come— it is also important to try as many things as possible so that you know what you like and what you really like! Don’t overwhelm yourself, but allow your curiosity to peak a little. You’re allowed to tap out of things when they no longer feel like they serve you, without the overhanging fear of disappointing yourself. Get your toes wet at least. Learn how to commit with both mind and body to see if you really connect to what you’re doing. The key to doing this in a healthy way is to be honest with yourself.
the body never dies: if ever you find yourself questioning the process (which is normal by the way), make your way back to ground zero. Connect with what’s inside. Eat whole foods and slow foods. Listen to what keeps knocking at your door, and love yourself through it all. On cold nights, all you really have is yourself to look after. Don’t let the body down.
stay on the back roads: don’t beat yourself up for choosing to cruise while everyone else speeds through the light. Savor the time you have to do tasks and practice staying mindful. I find I enjoy things more often when I allow myself to breathe through the process and flow through the things that call for my attention. Don’t feel bad that other people seem to be doing a world better than you— what is meant for you is coming to you no matter your pace.
un-clench your jaw: This ties into laughing with your whole body- but let it fall apart. Watch as your body becomes responsive to life as it happens in front of you. Disrupt all logic and let the tension go!